"When and did you finally realize that you could not handle this any more?" (Ruby2)
I cannot say that there was one specific incident that led up to " the straw that broke the camel's back." The last year that we were together, my life was a non stop roller coaster, it was constant chaos, as his 20+ years of drinking was progressing, his behavior and actions were escalating to a new unacceptable level. ( At the time I did not understand this disease, and what was transpiring in front of my eyes)
I found myself running out of excuses for his daily crap.
I found myself tired of being tired.
I was sick and tired of babysitting an ADULT man.
I found myself in isolation, I didn't want to go out in public with him, fearing he would make ANOTHER scene.
I grew to hate the holidays, as it was just another excuse for him to be "social"
I would go to bed at night with a 1000 WTF's running through my head, and would wake up with 1000 WTF kind of fresh hell is in store for today.
Seemed I always had a headache, or a bellyache, the stress was taking a toll on my physical well being.
We maintained separate homes so that made it alot easier in the end, but one evening he came over to dinner, trying his damnest to act sober, and of course I was quite disappointed to know I just spent 3 hours preparing dinner for a drunk who would not even remember what we had to eat the previous night, and it was like a ton of bricks hit me in the head, My inner voice was screaming in my head, "no more, I'm done" and that was it, I turned to him and asked him to leave.
Sending you strength, Ruby.
All I can offer, listen to your inner voice, it won't steer you wrong.