Originally Posted by
SnoozyQ 
I feel there is almost a sumliminal threat in your husbands comment ( no man will stick around if he doesnt get it ) knowing full well you are not putting out.
Selfishness of an A knows few boundaries - hers doesn't either it seems. How often have we seen stories of the A seeking sobriety, only to 13th step on a loving, supportive spouse who has been through hell? How selfish must one be to put a substance addiction above their spouse, their own children? I know this tactic - I've seen it used first hand.
I had an acquaintance who would brag to me of using this very tactic. He took it to other areas, such as controlling his girlfriends weight. If he found she was gaining a few more pounds than he'd like to see, he point out a woman while out who was 10~15 lbs more than his girlfriend and rant about how fat and disgusting she was. Imagine what this did to her self image! He thought he was so smooth though doing it, because "I didn't call her fat, just made her think she was unattractive and she'd drop right back down where I want her. I'd make it clear that if I was dating that woman, I'd cheat on her". I was able to witness this tactic first hand on a double date, and I couldn't believe the lady beside him would put up with it.
Sad part? the tactic worked, and he wasn't an A. Just an A--HOLE.