need advice
Hi, this is my first post. I am with a guy who has had addictions his whole life. When I met him he told me he was recovering from painkillers, and speed, living with his parents to recover. He didn't do those things around me (said he quit) but did smoke pot. It didn't bother me so much because I didn't think it was addictive. His whole family has addiction issues. His father is on methadone and is a senior. His brother the worst dysfunctional alcoholic I've ever met. His brother lived with us because he couldn't take care of himself. I thought my boyfriend smoking weed wasn't as bad as the hard drugs or alcohol. He was the smartest person I had ever met and I enjoyed talking to him. We were both teachers and had lots in common. So I put up with the weed though it was expensive. I broke up with him shortly after we first dated because I thought he wasn't taking care of himself and ate poorly/was overweight. I thought he would get cancer or die early and I didn't want to be a widow. I was very happy to break up with him, feeling like I didn't have to worry about someone who didn't know about taking care of himself. But I stayed friends with him and we got back together because I realized you don't break up with someone just because you think they will die early. It was then I found out he became addicted to opium when we separated and it might have been my fault for leaving him. He became mean to me, he wasn't like the person I met. when he wasn't sleeping he was mean. I took it because I thought it was the drugs and my fault. I and his mom got him to quit opium by keeping him away from sources and I took him to the mountains after convincing him he needs to quit and he slowly weened himself off it. He was successful but he still did weed. He still was a bit abusive to me. I contemplated leaving him again because he was still mean to me even after he quit. But then I got pregnant. I was horrified that I got pregnant with him. He told me he wasn't able to conceive because while we were broken up he got testicular cancer stage 4 and got cured through the highest level of chemo and surgery. Our son was a miracle and beautiful. I made an excuse for us to leave our town of contacts and move across the country. He stopped weed and everything. Our life was on track. I've been a stay at home mom but he had trouble keeping his teaching jobs and then his brother died of an overdose. He was 29. His drinking led to heroin/methadone. The two brothers were very close. This was last Christmas. Now my boyfriend is drinking. His current teaching position tests for drugs so he doesn't do any of that. We have a 3 year old beautiful boy and he is wonderful but his father is missing it all because he's too consumed with his own problems. He hides his drinking. He gets a gigantic can everyday its like three beers and guzzles it and that's all I know of. I asked him to stop and he said he did but lately he's been slurring his speech and sleeping a lot again. I don't know why because I don't see him drinking. But yesterday we all went to take my son to the library. He said he was getting something in the car and when I found out the library was close my son and I went back to the car and found him guzzling a big can and looking around to see if I was coming. He was being so sneaky. Everyday he insists on running all the errands and me not coming with. I now know why. When he comes home he just wants to cook and be away from us/go to his room and sleep. He takes our son with him for the errands too and it breaks my heart to now realize he's been drinking in front of our son and driving. I just want to know. Is three beers a day everyday an alcohol problem? I can't believe he would do this after successfully recovering from such hard addictions. We have a beautiful boy and I am having the time of my life with this precious baby. I just wanted him to know his Dad but now I don't want my son to ever be around him. He has his addictive genes and if he grows up in chaos then he will become an addict too. Our son is sooooo precious to me.