Thank you all for your words that were both kind and wise (not an easy trick!).
Things okay with my wife. I think she is moving towards a one day at a time approach now and is holding fire on moving out for a length of time – in order to allow me to prove myself. This really is the last chance now; and I am more than aware of this.
My mum is coming to stay for a month also – she now knows all the awful details whereas hadnt a clue before, so will be really tough at first – but this will give my wife a chance to stay with friends for a few days at a time.
Zebra1275 your point about ‘living amend’ is so right. It is difficult as I want to be normal and show my wife I can be normal, but don’t want to come across as blasé about what happened. A tricky balance, but we spoke about this and that's what I need to do. Over time. Possibly a long time before I gain any level of trust.
So am doing the right things that I can for now – NOT drinking, going to support group, going to councillor, focussing as much as i can on work and going to gym. Just need to keep going. And of course sticking with this forum!!
I’ll be around here for a while I think. Things feel ok at minute but I’ve let my guard down before...
And Jackie38 - thanks for the encouragement; so proud of you too. Hope all going well??