I relapes on only alcohol just as will.
Thank god it didn't progress into my drug of choice of the end of my
using days. I notice the progression within just a couple of weeks.
I started drinking only the hard stuff and it wasn't doing the trick.
I started asking people where I can get pot. Thank god NA found me.
Weird, I felt just the same about my 11 years which I had worked
so hard for. I felt so beat, sick and tired of being sick and tired,
even before I relaped. My partner become abusive emotionally
,verbally mentally and finacailly. To get clean and sober and watch my lively hood gambled away wasn't exactly what I had in mind. Everthing I
did was wrong to her.And of course I wasn't a happy camper.
My character trait is also being a loyalist +, but the flip side
of the that is I'm co-dependant (not so opsistive). It's a
struggle and a half becuase I truly love her every much.
It tides into being adandant. Here's I'm again, older.
I still feel abadant emotionally. Or I felt like I've been
thrown away.
But it gets deeper as I work my recovery more and more.
More will be reveal as stated so many times.
I relized thur of this crap.. I also had habit of adandanting myself.
drugs and alcohol and the crazy things I do are just the symtoms
of that. I knew that, but living thur it sober was som'in else.
I also allowed myself to grieve over her or the lost of what
I thought of what my hopes and dreams was of the relationship.
It was a big lost for me.
The process of greiving helped detached from her emotionally.
I also relized I was much stronger of a person than my disease
would tell me. My relationship with my HP also got closer.
Godbless