God you guys are so cool. I feel a damn sight better tonight than I did this morning and it's incredible to come here and see you've all written. So much love and support.
Hypo, it's weird, I don't think of myself as fiercely independent, although I guess my friends and family would disagree.
In fact, I don't think of myself as anything, much. I don't mean that I have a low opinion of myself, or a high one either. I don't really think much at all. I'm sort of a fighty reactor who just responds, and it fascinates me how self-aware all of you are. How, like, reflective. You're all figuring out the best ways to do this thing, and all I'm thinking about is how cool my new shoes are. And that's fair and valid, because look:
but then I get in trouble and I don't have the ******* resources for this. I can fight it and fight it because I like fighting and I'm good at it, but eventually I have to rest, and I just don't know how. And last night I was so goddamn tired, and stopped fighting.
Jen, you're right, I should come here. But when I'm feeling okay it SR kind of makes me want to drink, and when I'm not okay it's usually too late. But god knows I never want to feel like I did this morning again, so I guess I just need to bunch em up and get my ass online.
INH, I always loved that you kept on posting even though you were drinking. And I never, never thought you weren't measuring up. You had us in spades, darlin, always and I love ya too xxxx
So, yeah, away from the deep and introspective - have I missed people buying furniture? We just bought furniture! A proper grown-up couch and a really beautiful bookcase and tables made from mango wood. I never even heard of mango wood furniture but H says it's pretty popular back in Australia.