This is something I did when I was a hot mess after a very painful break-up (I described earlier).
It is something like a wailing wall. I allowed myself to fall apart crying and feeling all the pain of the loss for one hour in the evening (I worked a very demanding job during the day--where I had to put on a smile and attend to the needs of others). I would fill the bathtub with a few inches of cold water and sit on the side of the tub with my feet in the water--and let all the pain in my heart come to the surface---and the anger would come rolling out, also. I would cry and say all the angry things and --literally wail.
I allowed one hour's time--I never made it that far--more l ike twenty minutes at the worst. Gradually, the time lessened. I just did as much as I felt like at the moment.
During the rest of my time I tried to not think about him and the relationship--saving it for the evening wailing wall. I wore a rubber band around my wrist during the day to remind myself not to obsess.
I also tried to rely on comedy--watch funny movies and comedians every chance I could get. I lived for Saturday Nite Live--LOL. Laughter actually changes your brain chemistry.
The wiling wall thing actually incorporates behavior modification principles which there is not enough room to go into, right now--but it works. I promise.
dandylion