Hello LMN,
I'm so sorry you are in such pain right now. I don't normally post over here on this side, but I have found that reading these threads has been very helpful for me to understand a lot about my family members who struggle with addiction.
If you take the time to read around, you may just find some of the answers to your questions...but not all. No one can do that for you, I'm afraid.
Sending you hugs and prayers! S