Originally Posted by
BackToSquareOne 
I had some kind of shift in thinking, really hard to explain. It was like the pain/pleasure aspect of it shifted to all pain. I just no longer wanted to do it.
This is sort of what I experienced during the last year of my drinking.
Hangovers were brutal (I was either hungover of drunk) and I longed to feel normal and good.
I was always exhausted and only felt good for maybe about 15 minutes everyday - those few minutes after I got that rush from having those first few drinks of the day.
But that feeling would fade quickly and I would keep drinking, looking for it again but it never came.