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can you quit drinking without AA?

Old 10-10-2013, 09:42 PM
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can you quit drinking without AA?

I am curious to know if there are people that considered themselves addicted to alcohol and who have quit for more than 1 year without AA; 12 steps or rehab? In other words, has anyone just quit because they were ready and used a common sense approach that alcohol was causing problems in their lives and it was time to abstain.
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Old 10-10-2013, 10:06 PM
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Many many people quit that way. I think the biggest factor is commitment....you have REALLY got to want to stop and be willing to do anything to achieve sobriety.

I use AA myself, but my husband is 16 months sober through just deciding that enough was enough and making sobriety his goal.

You need to make some big changes though...in attitude, in routines, and in people and places that might trigger.

There are many examples of people on SR who have just used the support here to help them.
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Old 10-10-2013, 10:10 PM
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I have two friends who are recovered alcoholics who just quit. They both have long term sobriety, and seem happy. I tried the quit by my own method and I failed miserably. AA works for me.
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Old 10-10-2013, 10:32 PM
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After over 3 decades of drinking I just had an insight one day after a bad bender, saw it for what it was and threw in the towel for good. That was over 5 years ago. No program needed but I was just done with it at that point.
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Old 10-10-2013, 10:52 PM
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After over 3 decades of drinking I just had an insight one day after a bad bender, saw it for what it was and threw in the towel for good. That was over 5 years ago. No program needed but I was just done with it at that point

Back to Square one - did you consider yourself addicted to alcohol or just a person who drank lots and have a bad bender?
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Old 10-10-2013, 11:10 PM
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Originally Posted by rowd44 View Post
After over 3 decades of drinking I just had an insight one day after a bad bender, saw it for what it was and threw in the towel for good. That was over 5 years ago. No program needed but I was just done with it at that point

Back to Square one - did you consider yourself addicted to alcohol or just a person who drank lots and have a bad bender?



I was addicted, In the distant past 20 years prior I tried everything and failed to quit. I don't think I really wanted to quit at that point though. By the time I finally quit I was buying vodka by the case and drinking it out of the large sports drink cups, any mixer would do at that point.

The withdrawals were getting horrible, I no longer could find pleasure in it, only pain. I had some kind of shift in thinking, really hard to explain. It was like the pain/pleasure aspect of it shifted to all pain. I just no longer wanted to do it.
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Old 10-11-2013, 03:15 AM
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I am at almost 15 months and did not use AA. I have also read that's not that unusual. I did a lot of reading ["Under the Influence" was key to understanding where I was headed if I didn't stop]. I read Soberrecovery every day. Only a few people really know the extent of my problem (I was a highly functional drinker), but they are in my life every day and that keeps me on track too. Most important, I'm determined to give my children a different childhood from the one I had.
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Old 10-11-2013, 04:11 AM
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Originally Posted by BackToSquareOne View Post
I had some kind of shift in thinking, really hard to explain. It was like the pain/pleasure aspect of it shifted to all pain. I just no longer wanted to do it.

This is sort of what I experienced during the last year of my drinking.

Hangovers were brutal (I was either hungover of drunk) and I longed to feel normal and good.

I was always exhausted and only felt good for maybe about 15 minutes everyday - those few minutes after I got that rush from having those first few drinks of the day.
But that feeling would fade quickly and I would keep drinking, looking for it again but it never came.
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Old 10-11-2013, 04:39 AM
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No program or counseling of any kind. Just a paradigm shift in thinking. A moment when it became absolutely clear to me that if I kept on going I would lose everything. I would waste my life lost in alcohol as my mother had. She was the first to warn me I had the gene and the upbringing. I finally accepted that she was right about that and that was the end of drinking for me. Too bad she didn't live to see it.

I tried again to be a moderate drinker last month but I got it pretty quickly that that would never be an option for me. I have been on this site for about three weeks now (first 10 days as a lurker) and it is the first "support" I have gotten. I really do appreciate being able to talk with people who really do know what addiction is in all its ugly glory. It's a "brothers-in-arms" feeling to know that you all know exactly why we pick up the drink when we shouldn't, and the absolute joy of putting it down for good. I can't share that with the people around me, and until I came here it was only in my journal and mostly unvoiced.
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Old 10-11-2013, 04:48 AM
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There's LOTS of us here (and elsewhere) that have recovered without any so-called "program" (AA or otherwise). That's not a knock against AA, just a fact. And yes, I considered myself a "real" alcoholic (drank for nearly 30 years, the last 10 years got drunk nearly every single day). I did get some face-to-face support from a few key family members and close friends. I've also found SR to be an important tool to help me stay the course. I've had some people here say I was never a "real" alcoholic or I must be a "dry drunk" or I'm an AA basher...none of which is true. All I can do is go on living a happily sober life and hopefully inspire others to do the same.
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Old 10-11-2013, 05:11 AM
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As we know people are different so each of us can have a different result from the same treatment. We respond because of so many internal and external factors. After years of smoking I finally quit when using up 3 packs a day in a heartbeat one day and never wanted another one. It took me 2+ years going to AA and accepting the help of people I still love and care for before I was ready and sick and tired of being sick and tired. +30 years later I still go to 3-5 meetings a week mainly for a memory refresh because left to my own devices I have a healthy respect for the unopened bottle of booze and realize my built in forgetter is like too many others that relapse because of our forgetting what the pain was like. Also I've seen far too many people with years being sober stop going to meetings and after a period of time relapsing into alcoholic hell. No thanks. BE WELL
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Old 10-11-2013, 05:16 AM
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I can answer that question in 7 months but I'm still going to chime in anyway.

I don't think your ability to remain sober is based on use or non use of a program. It's based on your willingness to put sobriety ahead of drinking no matter the circumstance and your capability to be "TRULY" honest with yourself. I say "TRULY" because as alcoholics we are all known to invent reasons to drink and lie to ourselves about why we should, conveniently forgetting that we are on a mission. The power of commitment is never the same on the day that you make the decision to quit as it is when those urges arrive. Honesty with one's self is the key.

If you know that there are times that you are going to have urges where you will lie to yourself and need to depend on someone else for direction then it's best to look to a program or find a consistent means of support. Someone who can take the reigns for you when you aren't being honest. Even still, it's up to you to reach out when that happens.

Do your research and find what works for you. It all comes down to you.
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Old 10-11-2013, 06:16 AM
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I didn't use AA or any 12 step program to quit, almost 5 years ago. I did however realize I needed some help along the way, so I saw a counselor 2x a week for about 6 months, and he taught me how to live sober..I had a lot of new learning to do, how to react to life in a sober and healthy way, and I didn't really know those skills all on my own so the guidance for me was pretty important.
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Old 10-11-2013, 06:30 AM
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Yeah, I didnt go to AA. Well, I went once but didnt like it.

It is just a support group. It works for lots of people so it is all good, but it is not a necessity. The only absolute thing to do is to stop putting ethanol inside your body. Adding a support group to help deal with the emotional side of withdrawal is cool, but is a luxury on top of the basic single instruction.
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Old 10-11-2013, 06:45 AM
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it tried everything else but nothing worked except AA
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Old 10-11-2013, 07:19 AM
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can you quit drinking without AA?

Of course. Lots of people have gotten sober and live content, productive lives without ever having considered AA as a means to get there. There are countless examples on this very site. However, there are a lot of us that couldn't seem to stay sober, know matter what we tried, and AA has been a lifesaver for us. That's really who AA is best suited for, the person that can't get sober on their own.

Originally Posted by TDInstall View Post
It is just a support group.
I don't want to get into arguments about it, but AA is not just a support group. If that was your experience, then you unfortunately missed AA in spite of walking into a meeting. So many people get short-changed either by their own preconceived notions or by a lousy meeting that has substituted 'support group' principles for AA principles.
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Old 10-11-2013, 07:52 AM
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Most folks quit without AA. We just don't hear so much about them as they aren't in a group and don't "advertise". There was a national study that shows that no one method is best for recovery. AA is a great program for those for which it is a great program. The primary need I think is just being committed to a life beyond alcohol and/or drugs. It is necessary to fill the "hole" with something else.
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Old 10-11-2013, 07:54 AM
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Originally Posted by rowd44 View Post
I am curious to know if there are people that considered themselves addicted to alcohol and who have quit for more than 1 year without AA; 12 steps or rehab? In other words, has anyone just quit because they were ready and used a common sense approach that alcohol was causing problems in their lives and it was time to abstain.
Yes. 8 years and another lifetime ago.
I only have myself, this site and Allen Carr to thank.
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Old 10-11-2013, 07:59 AM
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AA works for me. However I know several people who quit without AA using smart recovery and rational recovery. I suggest you check out both programs
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Old 10-11-2013, 08:15 AM
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I went from total lunacy ,miserable ,drunk EVERY DAY ,to moderate drinker ,or most of the time no drinking at all .

I went to AA for a little while ,but decided it was not for me -too set in stone .

I like the hamsnetwork approach ,A google search will find it quickly .HAMS: Harm Reduction for Alcohol


Bottom line -we all have to find what works for our own situation .
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