Jay,
I have been reading your blog, you are not dumb – forget that. That is just not true.
Some scenes were almost to much, very perceptive and well written – I could feel the pain.
You give the impression of being a great kid Jay. I have 3 boys around your age living here, my 2 sons and one more. Youth is in rather overrated, it is not that easy to be young – I am glad I have that part of my life behind me. Coming from a difficult background as you then it is just very hard struggle.
You should be proud of yourself – it has been a struggle and it takes a lot of spirit to achieve what you are doing.
I do not have any advice to offer, I am sorry. I think though that even though we need to face our struggles we do also need to find something we can rest with. It is individual what it is, but we need to find it.
Great picture in your avatar and a beautiful dog – is it a f1 lab?
Take care.