If you feel you need help please do read this link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
here are some UK links too
Suicide - Getting help - NHS Choices How to cope with suicidal feelings - Mind PAPYRUS Prevention of Young Suicide - PAPYRUS UK Depression Alliance UK | How We Can Help | Help With Depression & Anxiety With Self-Help Groups Across The UK
I remember the despair of wanting to stop drinking and not being able to.
If you can't stop then you need to do more for your recovery RJY.
Have you thought about what else you might do apart from keep drinking?
seeing your Dr, or a counsellor, a recovery programme like AA or something else? is rehab an option?
D