[QUOTE=RJY9;4225010]I have failed again. I have been drinking again since my day 4 post. I'm an emotional wreck. I actually want to die. I want to die so I can pass to the other side and see my 2 best friends who tragically died in 2011. I have tried so hard to stop drinking. I have experienced worst things in my times of sobriety so im gonna carry on drinking for now. I cant move forward and my mind just lives in the past no matter what I try. I'm cursed and will never be free.[/QUOTE
Please don't give up. Your drink problem is very treatable. You are posting for a good reason.
I am not being trite, I too was at the extreme bottom...twice my family were called in to the ER because I was a sliver from giving up the ghost.
I am here now....and you are helping me....Many years later I am living a very healthy and contented life..I have come to peace with many awful things due to my active addiction.
If you have a AA Big Book, or search on line, for the AA promises...They will be yours with a commitment to and life of sobriety.
Pulling for you....