I hurt so much.
I have failed again. I have been drinking again since my day 4 post. I'm an emotional wreck. I actually want to die. I want to die so I can pass to the other side and see my 2 best friends who tragically died in 2011. I have tried so hard to stop drinking. I have experienced worst things in my times of sobriety so im gonna carry on drinking for now. I cant move forward and my mind just lives in the past no matter what I try. I'm cursed and will never be free.