Good question. What I know is that it is hard....not hard so much as his drinking being a trigger for me...but hard in the fact that our life goals are no longer the same. I do not think that I can make a commitment to live with someone who is drinking. I used to think that we would eventually live together (we have been together 4 years) but now I"m not on that page. What I stress about; he does not. What I enjoy, he cannot without a few drinks first. To cope, I let him know he can join me when I plan to do something but I often do things without him. I should be more social with more people like me but I haven't been there yet.