Free the love, I just want to let you know that you are not alone in your pain. It is so hard to let go of someone, especially if we think they are part of the dream that we are trying to bring true. The good thing is that if you do decide to let go of your ABF, the pain won't last. I am 2 & 1/2 months past my AX (son's dad) ditching me. We were together for 7 years. It still hurts now, but it has gotten better. It always gets better when you let go. There are ways to let go and still keep contact with someone. I used to be afraid to go through this pain of losing my partner so I stayed. Ironically I just had to go through the pain anyway. Life just gives us pain sometimes. Oddly enough, the pain of staying with him and wishing he would change lasted longer than my darkest, most hopeless and depressed days following the breakup - YEARS longer.