Hi freethelove, I felt the same way about my AH 13 years ago. I thought we could sort things out, that our life and all that we had invested in it (emotionally more than financially) would not be wasted.
After numerous relapses (which are perfectly normal, so everyone kept telling me, and I kept believing), I have now decided the only option is to get out. His behaviour along with his drinking has just got more and more extreme over the years.
We have been married for 29 years and it is a huge wrench for me, but it is the only way I can see myself having a relatively normal life.
I think he will always be a part of my life, until the point at which he actually kills himself but he will not be my life.