Trixie spoke my heart, as I am 5 years past my first what-ifs. Blue Skies has a very good point about the effect prison might have.
So maybe you like to think, 'what if'. Okay. What if he only gets worse? What if he starts to abuse you down the road? What if he dies from his disease? What if there is someone even better for you? What if you go too Al anon (perhaps you already do) and you get serious about your recovery and feel great about yourself? What if you feel so good about yourself that you start attracting saner people and more joyful experiences onto your life? These are questions that I need to ask myself just as much as you might need to ask them.
The what-if questions that you have asked smell like fear. Most Americans, in my opinion act consistently on fear, not faith. I'm still new at complete faith, but I know that acting out of fear has NOT helped me to create the life I really want. It has helped me to feel less self-assured. It has helped me to become dependent on someone who was unavailable to me. I'm ready to be brave and have faith in my Higher Power and myself and ask, "What if I start really loving myself and attract a very sane, healthy partner who loves and honors my child and me?" "What if I have fun in this process?"