Welcome, kokolo, but sorry you had need to find us. Kialua is right, you should focus on taking care of yourself and moving forward. In Al-Anon we learn the 3C's: you didn't cause, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. Do you have any Al-Anon meetings nearby? I would suggest your whole family going, but definitely make sure you get yourself there. Also be aware that it's probable your father will try to come back promising the moon and the stars to you and your mother. Unless he has quit drinking and is actively working a program like AA or Celebrate Recovery, it all amounts to quacking. That's our term for things addicts say that have no basis in reality. You can learn a lot more about that and this disease in the Friends & Family forum. Be sure to read all of the stickies above and over in F&F, and definitely keep posting. We are here for you!