Hugs, Celticgirl.
You don't have to decide anything today. It's Sunday and he's just quacking. Take a deep breath and then another. Can you and the kids go on an adventure today without him? Have a picnic if it's pretty out, or go to a museum or a farmer's market? Maybe go pick out a pumpkin and run through a corn maze?
After having a fun day and regaining perspective on what you want your life to be, you can sit down and think about how you can protect yourself, and that life you want, from his bad decisions. The next time you call a lawyer should be to discuss those options for protecting you and the kids (whether you stick with him or not). You still don't have to decide anything until you are ready. In the meantime, you've got a good start on drawing those boundaries you laid out. And, you can probably think up a few more.
Keep breathing. Stay calm. Recite the serenity prayer. We're here with you.
Peace,
Fathom