I can say that my thoughts on starting and then maintaining to do drugs had a lot to do with not liking who I was. That was a vicious cycle. Still is. (Even though i'm sober 4+ years)
My need for commitment was to prove to myself that I deserved not to be abandoned.
Also, my need to be needed and the void it filled to feel that I could satisfy someone. Probably because I was useful.. therefor meant something in the World. Still... from low self-worth, and low-self esteem.
I'm personally trying to love myself. I still have the little demon whispering in my ear. I tackle this with prayer and positive self talk. Saying, I am worth something. I am loved. I deserve to be happy. Stuff like that.
Hope you have a good day
