Thanks so much everyone. I hope this person can save herself. Since she won't let anyone else help.
The other problem still exists: what she's told everyone else. The thing is, lots of people have never seen the side of her I have. They buy what she says about me. It's one of my worst nightmares and the story of my life at the same time: not being able to represent myself.
Being scapegoated and judged. I understand I'm supposed to not care what people think of me and just go out there and be myself. But here I am.
It's a relief to be able to ignore her in public. If she even approached me now I'd be really angry because of how she broke things off. Watching her drink is now crossing the line into pitiful (in my eyes) and I've lost a lot of sympathy. I feel lighter and better without her.
But it's only half liberating.
I did the very last thing I felt I could do, for her and for me. I wrote to her sister, who lives in the same town we do. I felt that if she was going to remove me, then it didn't help that I was the one with all of the information. So I told her everything. She wrote back and thanked me. She concurred with my observations. Then she said she understood why I didn't want to be friends with her sister anymore. So I wrote back again, thanked her, and clarified that her sister had broken things off with me, for the purpose of pointing out that she seems to be removing people that care and sticking with the enablers. I never heard back. I hope I didn't offend her. But I also understand that the correspondence can't go on and on. Did I do the right thing?
I am so glad to have found this site and other people who know exactly what I'm going through. It's just amazing how this pattern repeats itself over and over throughout all of humanity. It really is a disease.