This is a contagious disease in the sense that those closest to the A get as sick as they are. I also searched out the hidden stash, would empty it all. I would leave an empty bottle out so he would see I knew. I would tell him none of this was okay. All any of that did was keep me in the chaos, keep me stressed and sick. None of it did anything to solve things. I just got crazier. I also got a lot of the blame for his drinking. Now I can see that he had to blame me. His only other choice was to accept responsibility, and he wasn't ready to do that.
AlAnon gave me my sanity back. Not overnight, but over a few months. I learned to detach, and focus on my peace and serenity each day. I hope you try AlAnon, it will help you as well. I don't know your kids ages, but Alateen is there for them. If they're too young, many meetings have babysitting so single parents can come.