((((LMN)))))
I will be saying extra prayers for you.
Is it possible that knowledge that your gonna be face to face with him is part of what is bothering you? I know he has always been your best friend and it has to be hard to do what your doing even though you know it is what is best.
Emotionally, your likely drained you have had so much thinking to do so many final decision to make now you have to go and carry through with them I believe I would feel a bit weaker as well I agree with the above you can do this and you will do it with grace.