My husbands addict voice.....
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
My husbands addict voice.....
Is in control of just not him but seems to be controlling me too. I notice I have become meeker and less willing to state my truths. I am more willing to back down and/or back off then I have ever been.
After being gone for almost 8 weeks, I will be returning back to my home on Thursday. I am dreading it but I have to. It's time to face my reality. I should feel stronger but I don't. The last week or 2, I feel like I have become weaker and weaker and I don't know why.
He is a mess and I know it won't be easy going back. One minute, he wants help, the next he is done trying and failing. When we discuss going our own separate ways, sometimes he becomes very cold, all too accepting, and pretty flippant about it. I have to tell you, sometimes this new attitude infuriates me!
Please keep me in your prayers. I am so anxious about returning and trying to finally move on. This was not the outcome I wanted but I know in my heart it is for the best...for me. I have to trust that God has something better in mind for me. But I am still left wondering....if endings symbolize beginnings, why are the goodbyes so hard to say?
After being gone for almost 8 weeks, I will be returning back to my home on Thursday. I am dreading it but I have to. It's time to face my reality. I should feel stronger but I don't. The last week or 2, I feel like I have become weaker and weaker and I don't know why.
He is a mess and I know it won't be easy going back. One minute, he wants help, the next he is done trying and failing. When we discuss going our own separate ways, sometimes he becomes very cold, all too accepting, and pretty flippant about it. I have to tell you, sometimes this new attitude infuriates me!
Please keep me in your prayers. I am so anxious about returning and trying to finally move on. This was not the outcome I wanted but I know in my heart it is for the best...for me. I have to trust that God has something better in mind for me. But I am still left wondering....if endings symbolize beginnings, why are the goodbyes so hard to say?
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Originally Posted by souper 
I will pray for you.
==============
Dear God,
Please guide LoveMeKnow on Your path, Your will, and Your way, and grant her the wisdom and courage to follow them.
IJN, Amen.
==============
Gotta tell you LoveMeNow -- You go with God, and you are going to be Good.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I notice I have become meeker and less willing to state my truths. I am more willing to back down and/or back off then I have ever been.
Getting away has given you a chance to regain your balance and see this from a clearer perspective. Going back to face the decisions you must make is going to be difficult and emotional, but you are stronger now and wiser, and whatever unfolds, I know you can handle it with grace and courage.
You will be okay, honest you will. You are stronger and wiser than you feel right now but in the end your answers will come and you will be at peace with them. I promise.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
((((LMN)))))
I will be saying extra prayers for you.
Is it possible that knowledge that your gonna be face to face with him is part of what is bothering you? I know he has always been your best friend and it has to be hard to do what your doing even though you know it is what is best.
Emotionally, your likely drained you have had so much thinking to do so many final decision to make now you have to go and carry through with them I believe I would feel a bit weaker as well I agree with the above you can do this and you will do it with grace.
I will be saying extra prayers for you.
Is it possible that knowledge that your gonna be face to face with him is part of what is bothering you? I know he has always been your best friend and it has to be hard to do what your doing even though you know it is what is best.
Emotionally, your likely drained you have had so much thinking to do so many final decision to make now you have to go and carry through with them I believe I would feel a bit weaker as well I agree with the above you can do this and you will do it with grace.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
In my prayers too. Please be safe and have an escape plan with you. One never truly knows an active addict or alcoholic and there is always the chance that they might flip out.
Take care of yourself.
Take care of yourself.
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
I have to go home, pack up the house and go to an important Doctors appointment. He knows I won't live with him in active addiction, so I will assume he has been making plans. He has already moved his office out the house so he has that covered.
Ironically, I think he dreads me coming back as much as I dread going back. He thinks he is calling the shots. He is very wrong.
My stomach is in knots and I feel very anxious. Thankfully, a good friend offered to fly in for a few days once he is gone. I am very grateful to her for her offer.
Ironically, I think he dreads me coming back as much as I dread going back. He thinks he is calling the shots. He is very wrong.
My stomach is in knots and I feel very anxious. Thankfully, a good friend offered to fly in for a few days once he is gone. I am very grateful to her for her offer.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 845
LMN, the way I see it, this is the beginning of an exciting new chapter for you! You are in a transitional period now, doing things that are kind of stressful so that you can have some serenity. That serenity is right around the corner, just keep those boundaries strong!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 864
Take a deep breath. No future tripping.
Backup plan, meaning 911, essential, don't hesitate to make the call.
No expectations of good or bad.
No power struggle, waste of time, no one is really in control in any situation that can turn volatile or chaotic.
You are there for a reason, get in, get out.
I will keep good thoughts.
Try not to drive yourself to nuts, before you even get there.
Hugs.
Backup plan, meaning 911, essential, don't hesitate to make the call.
No expectations of good or bad.
No power struggle, waste of time, no one is really in control in any situation that can turn volatile or chaotic.
You are there for a reason, get in, get out.
I will keep good thoughts.
Try not to drive yourself to nuts, before you even get there.
Hugs.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 499
You can do this. Those first steps out the door were very difficult steps, but you were strong enough. These steps won't be easy, but you are strong enough. We have seen you, you can handle this, we know you are strong enough. You know it now, too. Once you are a tiger you never go back to being a deer. 
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