Blogs


Notices

My husbands addict voice.....

Old 10-01-2013, 11:21 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
 
LoveMeNow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,610
My husbands addict voice.....

Is in control of just not him but seems to be controlling me too. I notice I have become meeker and less willing to state my truths. I am more willing to back down and/or back off then I have ever been.

After being gone for almost 8 weeks, I will be returning back to my home on Thursday. I am dreading it but I have to. It's time to face my reality. I should feel stronger but I don't. The last week or 2, I feel like I have become weaker and weaker and I don't know why.

He is a mess and I know it won't be easy going back. One minute, he wants help, the next he is done trying and failing. When we discuss going our own separate ways, sometimes he becomes very cold, all too accepting, and pretty flippant about it. I have to tell you, sometimes this new attitude infuriates me!

Please keep me in your prayers. I am so anxious about returning and trying to finally move on. This was not the outcome I wanted but I know in my heart it is for the best...for me. I have to trust that God has something better in mind for me. But I am still left wondering....if endings symbolize beginnings, why are the goodbyes so hard to say?
LoveMeNow is offline  
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to LoveMeNow For This Useful Post:
Ann (10-02-2013), atalose (10-02-2013), blackandblue (10-02-2013), crazybabie (10-02-2013), GardenMama (10-02-2013), interrupted (10-02-2013), Lily1918 (10-01-2013), lizwig (10-02-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013), sevenofnine (10-02-2013), souper (10-01-2013), Vale (10-02-2013), YearForMe (10-02-2013)
Old 10-01-2013, 11:49 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 27
I will pray for you.
souper is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to souper For This Useful Post:
Ann (10-02-2013), crazybabie (10-02-2013), Hammer (10-01-2013), Lily1918 (10-02-2013), lizwig (10-02-2013), LoveMeNow (10-02-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013), Vale (10-02-2013)
Old 10-01-2013, 11:58 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Engineer Things; LOVE People
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,712
Originally Posted by souper View Post
I will pray for you.
Second that.

==============

Dear God,

Please guide LoveMeKnow on Your path, Your will, and Your way, and grant her the wisdom and courage to follow them.

IJN, Amen.

==============

Gotta tell you LoveMeNow -- You go with God, and you are going to be Good.
Hammer is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Hammer For This Useful Post:
Ann (10-02-2013), crazybabie (10-02-2013), lizwig (10-02-2013), LoveMeNow (10-02-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013), Txhelp (10-02-2013), Vale (10-02-2013)
Old 10-02-2013, 12:15 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Vale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 2,279
Prayers at 100%,LMN.
We know you have the courage to find your truth.
Vale is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Vale For This Useful Post:
Ann (10-02-2013), crazybabie (10-02-2013), lizwig (10-02-2013), LoveMeNow (10-02-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013)
Old 10-02-2013, 03:12 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 577
Thinking of you LMN...Sending you strength.
lizwig is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to lizwig For This Useful Post:
Ann (10-02-2013), crazybabie (10-02-2013), Lily1918 (10-02-2013), LoveMeNow (10-02-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013), Vale (10-02-2013)
Old 10-02-2013, 03:26 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 157
I am sorry LMN I am not real up to date. Why are you going back?
blueholly is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to blueholly For This Useful Post:
Ann (10-02-2013), crazybabie (10-02-2013), LoveMeNow (10-02-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013)
Old 10-02-2013, 03:44 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
Ann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 58,639
I notice I have become meeker and less willing to state my truths. I am more willing to back down and/or back off then I have ever been.
LMN, maybe you've just said all that you have to say and to say and don't feel a need to keep repeating yourself? Confrontation is not the answer and such an energy waster. Acceptance of whatever "is" is a quieter, stronger place to be,

Getting away has given you a chance to regain your balance and see this from a clearer perspective. Going back to face the decisions you must make is going to be difficult and emotional, but you are stronger now and wiser, and whatever unfolds, I know you can handle it with grace and courage.

You will be okay, honest you will. You are stronger and wiser than you feel right now but in the end your answers will come and you will be at peace with them. I promise.

Hugs
Ann is online now  
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to Ann For This Useful Post:
crazybabie (10-02-2013), GardenMama (10-02-2013), interrupted (10-02-2013), Katiekate (10-02-2013), Lily1918 (10-02-2013), lizwig (10-02-2013), LoveMeNow (10-02-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013), sevenofnine (10-02-2013), souper (10-02-2013), Vale (10-02-2013)
Old 10-02-2013, 10:04 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
EnglishGarden's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: new moon road
Posts: 1,545
If he is in active addiction, then you will be there with his dark side.

I hope you will not stay too long. Be careful. A house with an active addict is never a safe place to be.
EnglishGarden is offline  
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to EnglishGarden For This Useful Post:
Ann (10-02-2013), atalose (10-02-2013), crazybabie (10-02-2013), Katiekate (10-02-2013), Lily1918 (10-02-2013), lizwig (10-02-2013), LoveMeNow (10-02-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013), souper (10-02-2013), Vale (10-02-2013)
Old 10-02-2013, 02:21 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
crazybabie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Blog Entries: 3
((((LMN)))))

I will be saying extra prayers for you.

Is it possible that knowledge that your gonna be face to face with him is part of what is bothering you? I know he has always been your best friend and it has to be hard to do what your doing even though you know it is what is best.

Emotionally, your likely drained you have had so much thinking to do so many final decision to make now you have to go and carry through with them I believe I would feel a bit weaker as well I agree with the above you can do this and you will do it with grace.
crazybabie is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to crazybabie For This Useful Post:
Ann (10-02-2013), Katiekate (10-02-2013), Lily1918 (10-03-2013), lizwig (10-02-2013), LoveMeNow (10-02-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013)
Old 10-02-2013, 02:45 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Behold the power of NO
 
Carlotta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,483
In my prayers too. Please be safe and have an escape plan with you. One never truly knows an active addict or alcoholic and there is always the chance that they might flip out.

Take care of yourself.
Carlotta is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Carlotta For This Useful Post:
Ann (10-02-2013), Katiekate (10-02-2013), Lily1918 (10-03-2013), lizwig (10-02-2013), LoveMeNow (10-02-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013)
Old 10-02-2013, 03:46 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
blackandblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 311
Can you go to daily meetings? Bring a friend?
blackandblue is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to blackandblue For This Useful Post:
Ann (10-02-2013), Katiekate (10-02-2013), Lily1918 (10-03-2013), lizwig (10-02-2013), LoveMeNow (10-02-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013)
Old 10-02-2013, 03:47 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Vale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 2,279
Wishing for you the very best outcome possible, LMN.

(and ALL your SR buddies are in your corner.....count on it!)
Vale is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Vale For This Useful Post:
Ann (10-02-2013), Katiekate (10-02-2013), Lily1918 (10-02-2013), lizwig (10-02-2013), LoveMeNow (10-02-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013)
Old 10-02-2013, 04:19 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
 
LoveMeNow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,610
I have to go home, pack up the house and go to an important Doctors appointment. He knows I won't live with him in active addiction, so I will assume he has been making plans. He has already moved his office out the house so he has that covered.

Ironically, I think he dreads me coming back as much as I dread going back. He thinks he is calling the shots. He is very wrong.

My stomach is in knots and I feel very anxious. Thankfully, a good friend offered to fly in for a few days once he is gone. I am very grateful to her for her offer.
LoveMeNow is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to LoveMeNow For This Useful Post:
Ann (10-02-2013), bluebelle (10-02-2013), Carlotta (10-02-2013), Lily1918 (10-03-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013), sevenofnine (10-02-2013), Vale (10-02-2013)
Old 10-02-2013, 05:20 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
Ann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 58,639
Keeping you in my prayers, LMN.
Ann is online now  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Ann For This Useful Post:
Lily1918 (10-03-2013), lizwig (10-02-2013), LoveMeNow (10-02-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013)
Old 10-02-2013, 05:25 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 845
LMN, the way I see it, this is the beginning of an exciting new chapter for you! You are in a transitional period now, doing things that are kind of stressful so that you can have some serenity. That serenity is right around the corner, just keep those boundaries strong!
jjj111 is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to jjj111 For This Useful Post:
Ann (10-02-2013), Lily1918 (10-02-2013), lizwig (10-02-2013), LoveMeNow (10-02-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013), sevenofnine (10-02-2013), Vale (10-02-2013)
Old 10-02-2013, 05:42 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Life Health Prosperity
 
neferkamichael's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,598
LoveMeNow, Rootin for ya.

neferkamichael is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to neferkamichael For This Useful Post:
Ann (10-02-2013), Lily1918 (10-03-2013), lizwig (10-02-2013), LoveMeNow (10-02-2013), Vale (10-02-2013)
Old 10-02-2013, 06:01 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
sevenofnine's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 152
Hugs! Sending you strength and encouragement.
sevenofnine is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to sevenofnine For This Useful Post:
Ann (10-02-2013), Lily1918 (10-03-2013), lizwig (10-02-2013), LoveMeNow (10-02-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013), Vale (10-02-2013)
Old 10-02-2013, 06:22 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 864
Blog Entries: 2
Take a deep breath. No future tripping.
Backup plan, meaning 911, essential, don't hesitate to make the call.

No expectations of good or bad.

No power struggle, waste of time, no one is really in control in any situation that can turn volatile or chaotic.

You are there for a reason, get in, get out.

I will keep good thoughts.

Try not to drive yourself to nuts, before you even get there.

Hugs.
incitingsilence is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to incitingsilence For This Useful Post:
Lily1918 (10-03-2013), lizwig (10-02-2013), LoveMeNow (10-02-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013), Vale (10-02-2013)
Old 10-02-2013, 07:18 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
interrupted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 497
You can do this. Those first steps out the door were very difficult steps, but you were strong enough. These steps won't be easy, but you are strong enough. We have seen you, you can handle this, we know you are strong enough. You know it now, too. Once you are a tiger you never go back to being a deer.
interrupted is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to interrupted For This Useful Post:
Lily1918 (10-03-2013), lizwig (10-02-2013), LoveMeNow (10-02-2013), neferkamichael (10-02-2013), Vale (10-02-2013)
Old 10-03-2013, 04:49 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Lily1918's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
Blog Entries: 1
Sending you hugs and encouragement. You are so much stronger than I am
Lily1918 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:38 AM.