I'm not sure if it was me 'getting through' to xabf or just a scare for him but when I first realised 'wow he drinks a lot' and mentioned it to him the first thing he said was you're right I do are you going to dump me!?
I didn't and then over the next few months started putting two and two together and realised he was an alcoholic as opposed to a heavy drinkerand wrote him a letter saying I thought he should consider help from a professional and posted it. He did after another month or so then home detox then drank day after!I suspect this was partly to 'keep' me if he showed willing but he has said afford unprompted by me how he needs to stop drinking or he won't be alive much longer. I think even if we do get through the 'demon' on his shoulder usually overrides that until he/she says enough IS enough?