you can do this, you landed a great job in pharma...you can do well and meet lots of people, how about concentrating on YOU and the dog? relax and realize how far you have come....you are being given an opportunity to save your buttismo..take it and run... I do not doubt that you did all that you could, but you deserve so much more with no upset, worry and addiction to upset you.
how about thinking about a new life with a person who would support you, respect you and make you feel happy? how about thinking of maybe one day owning a home and starting a family with a stable man?
how about thinking about going on vacation and relaxing.... smiling and sleeping with no pit in your stomach? (I love my little dog too)