Parenting is scary and hard work. Having an addict as your partner can be the opposite of the help a single parent needs. Being alone in parenting is super hard, but it may actually be easier than the chaos, or even just the lack of true loving connection. (Saying this to myself, trying to let it sink in. Despite so much evidence, my heart and tired, sore body are not all the way along to where my logic is).
I'm really glad to hear you are doing what you can to protect baby and yourself financially.my own experienceis that the stress of parenting I top of things resulted in relapses. Be prepared with a plan and a backup plan and a backup in case the backup plan fails too. No after how hard you think parenting is, it will still be harder thanyourexpections.
But. I don't want to just be negative. My kids also remind me, and require me to create safe loving space in my life every day, the inspire me and force me to keep going and expect more from myself and my relationships. I would not be trying so hard to manageand continue, to accomplish more, to allow myself smiles and peaceful play without them. Sometimes I don't feel likeim worth it, but they always are.
I hope your pregnancy continues healthily and I send you courage to do all of the many right things you need to do to make the best mom for your little one.
Thank you for sharing.