Well, the thing is there was nothing I could really say that he didn't already know. He wasn't stupid. It doesn't take a lot of brain power to figure out that addiction harms relationships-- it does take a fair amount to hide that fact from one's self. I couldn't get through to him because I didn't create his denial and defenses-- he did. For me to dismantle them was never an option. He has to get through to himself... or not.