Cow, I wrote about 4 posts yesterday and didn't send. Sometimes this mode gets in the way. I feel like I am talking at people instead of to them, or talking about someone else as if they aren't there.....my flow feels a little stunted sometimes.
The gist of my posts were that I learned something really important in 9 years of CBT. I had an excellent therapist. I was waiting for some Botticelli-esque mode where I was transformed and carried out on a clam shell with little cherubs playing flutes.
Didn't happen. Instead I went in and talked about the minutiae of my life twice a week. Lord, the poor woman must have banged her head against the wall after I left. But change was happening, and it was predicated on a solid foundation. She refused to label things, and urged me to get comfortable with things being grey instead of black and white. She patiently guided me on how to take my power back. She could see the light at the end of the tunnel and her faith in me shored me up to start to believe in myself too.
Cow, you are fairly new here as are a lot of us. I don't see coffee/wine, coffee/wine. I see a lot of mental exertion. I see you pushing out walls and boundaries and finding your way. I admire your tenacity and your commitment to showing up. I feel privilege to be witness to the "before" and the "during".
And I have absolute faith that I will be there to witness the "after"!