my last day of taking a hydrocodone as last sat. at 10 p.m. i have been going to meeting but today i am at work (third shift). i love the meetings and bought the books. my problem is i know i am not going to use with the grace of God but i feel horrible. i start school tuesday and i am so scared. scared of my triggers. i owe my dealer money still and i have it but dont dare go to her house, aint that strong yet. i come clean to my dr. and he put me on quinine sulfate and carbamaze. i go to the meetings and i do share but am scared sometimes to speak up. how long before i feel normal? i have lived in the bath tub for a week at night because of legs hurting. sometims i thing just that one pill would take away my misery but then the cycle would start all over again....broke, lose partner, lose everything......any advice.....i am sitting here at work and this old man has a bottle of vicodin in the drawer and told us we were welcome to it if we needed it.......I DON"T NEED IT.....but i feel so sick. help????
