Hello there internet world.
I'm a 27 year old woman who has struggled with alcohol and drugs for about 9 years now? Kind of all blurs together.
This weekend I definitely hit my rock bottom. I had been drinking and was involved in a pretty bad car accident, effectively causing $5,000 worth of damage to a brand new car that I am still paying off. Thank God, or whoever is out there watching out for me that I did not hurt anyone else, myself or have anything more DREADFUL happen as of this moment. I could have possibly been arrested for a 2nd DUI and spent the weekend sitting in jail. I still have yet to see what will happen, but at the moment all that I can do is live in the moment, work on things one tiny task at the time AND NOT DRINK AT ALL EVER AGAIN.
I'm been calling around trying to find recovery programs, but I fear that my options are slim until my health insurance kicks in at the beginning of November. I know that I need some sort of serious help because I have been binge drinking heavily to the point of blacking out almost every time I drank for about 2 years now (every other day, need some time to drink moderately through the hangover!) and abusing alcohol and drugs for many more years.The past few years I have felt like I'm not able to get DRUNK ENOUGH, no matter how much I drank.
I have not been able to get anything accomplished in my life because I've been too busy drinking and getting myself into and out of trouble.
So far I have attended a few AA meetings and have found what people have to say there has been helpful, but I do have several questions so,
!
1. How do I kind of "take the next step" at AA? I would like to kind of just talk with someone there, and it feels kind of hard because VERY FEW people there are either around my age or women? Lots of older men.
2. Is it normal to feel EXHAUSTED in early recovery? I am so, so tired lately. I think the stress of the accident this weekend has definitely been bothering me because I've been having a really hard time sleeping and staying asleep. I can get a few hours before I wake up SOAKED in sweat.
3. I am CRAVING crap like never before, sugar and white carbs. Is it better just to kind of take it easy on myself and give into these cravings, or should I be flooding my body with fruit and veg to get in more nutrients?
I am so confused, so I guess anything you have to share would help.
Eternally grateful
