Hi everyone, this is my first post ever on a site like this but everything I read rings true and I figured it was time. Booknerd..I find myself in a similar situation, I am at the end of my rope, so tired of the lies and the hiding of the alchohol and drunken stupors, and the blaming. The worst part is he doesn't feel that his drinking is affecting our marriage or our kids. Everytime I swear it will be the last time i let him ruin something, I just need to find the inner strength for it to be the last time, I hope I can find it. And Wisconsin said earlier that when addressing older kids you need to find that delicate balance between to much and not enough info and that is so true, I have a beautiful 13 year old and much like your 14 yr old I am sure she knows way to much of what is going on, and while we are so wrapped up in our own issues of day to day life we take for granted them. She had problems at the end of school last year where she actually was threatening to cut herself and then I knew I had a problem. That poor girl was internalizing our problems! She is doing better now, she is in counseling and her and i talk a lot more but I am still stuck in what seems to be this hopeless rut. I know I will probablly have to leave for my sake and the sake of my kids but it is such a hard and stressful descision...