BookNerd

I believe it is very likely I will be separating from my husband quite soon. I have simply had enough of the abuse and the lies. Last night I caught him lying to me yet one more time, and when I let on I knew he was lying, he flew into a rage. This was right before supper, so as we all ate, he sat there glaring at me with intense hatred the whole time. I have had enough of this. Enough. I want to be able to enjoy a simple home cooked meal with my children without the drama and hatred aimed at me. Sometimes his hatred is aimed at the children too. I'm sick of his temper tantrums and sulking. I'm sick of trying to sort out the truth and lies. He hasn't shown any real indication he's going to get help for his multiple addictions - he wants things to continue like this forever. I just feel done. ENOUGH.

I have been looking into getting some legal advice today, and I also want to ask my friends here something of a more personal nature. For those of you who decided to separate from an abusive and alcoholic spouse, what did you tell your kids? We have 4 kids, from age 2 up to 14. If my AH refuses to leave the house (which he may, as we have absolutely no money) I will take the kids to live at my parents for a while. But my first choice is for him to leave so the kids won't have to disrupt their lives. The thought of having the house always peaceful, without his stupid drama, is lovely. However I know that the kids will be upset that Dad isn't there. They love him regardless of the way he treats them. What do I tell them?

Do I tell them about the drinking, and drugs? That their dad is sick, and I asked him to go away until he finds a way to get better? Obviously the 14 year old understands the situation pretty well - and I think she would be happy for him to be gone as he screams at her the worst of any of us - but the younger ones I'm not sure.

I am deeply concerned about how this situation will affect my beloved children, and I would really appreciate any advice others could give me. Thanks!