I'm sorry to read this less.
I don't think you start from square one either
There
is something wrong tho, yeah?
you know why you're here and what you want, at least on some level - and yet you keep going back to drinking.
Even worse, you can't find a reason to pin it on.
Thats scary stuff.
I drank like that many times - for lack of better words, I drank for something to do - I knew I could have fought back, I knew I could have done other things...but I didn't.
I chose the line of least resistance. I chose to go with the flow, even tho that flow was self destruction.
I think thats the apathy that Rob alluded to.
I think,more than what recovery model you're going to use, you need to decide if you're going to fight this thing or not, less.
D