It really sounds like you were lied to. It sounds like some one convinced you that the end result of drinking would be pleasurable, but it sounds like that is not in fact the case.
I know if I drank the immediate effect would be pleasurable, but I also know that unless I maintained that alcohol content in my bloodstream the physical pleasure would diminish and psychological displeasure would replace it. So given what I know, for me, I can't drink because I would not be able to handle not drinking after I started. That may be hyperbolic , but in essence that is the crux of it.
wish you well