I've been drinking again for the past two weeks - only on weekends - as if that makes it all better right? HA.
I really want to stop drinking but on the other hand I can't fathom it being for the rest of my life. I've done so many stupid and dangerous things when drinking and so I do not have an excuse for starting to drink again. I guess I keep thinking I can control it. HA like that ever works right? I once had three months and felt really good about myself and I a big part of me wants that back. But I am also disappointed in a how certain parts of my life have not turned out how I wanted them to be at this point in my life (mid-thirties) and drinking just helps me forget this huge personal disappointment. I know, the rational logical part of me know the drinking doesn't help at all.
Ugh, I hate this love-hate relationship I have with myself and drinking. I know I need to be and stay strong. This is my day 3.