Originally Posted by
Acheleus 
There is a young people's group that meets once a week. The big groups meet in the afternoons, so I think I will have to find one that meets around 4 or 5. I have the big book and I listen to speaker tapes, but I need a sponsor to help me complete the steps. But I have to read two books tonight, so I have to focus on school stuff.
That's why this is so difficult because I feel like I can't focus on recovery with the vigor and devotion that is necessary. But all I can do is try to learn and not wallow in self-pity. Tonight I am going for a walk/run though, that has been the most important thing to me to keep my mood stable: exercise. I am taking buspar for anxiety, but I cannot tell if it helps.
Acheleus. School is the top priority here. If you focus on school and the classes that you have to teach then the recovery part will take care of itself, in my opinion. I know that we need to work at this. Telling yourself that you have to study, read, get lessons plans ready really takes away from any drinking or self destruction that you may feel the need to engage in.
I do not think that your counselor is too far off with her words. The idea is to give that self destructive side minimal energy, as in no energy at all. This is where your focus with school comes in A. I think I am trying to paint a "lighter" picture here.
I tell myself something like this "Self, we have a lot of s#it to do today. You cant drink even if you wanted. Research paper, work, running, sleeping. There is no time for this self. " .......Then I carry on.
