oliveyu, I want to tell you that I consider that your and the lives of your children are in definite danger. Your husband has already tried to kill you while you were holding a baby and your other children were looking on. Just as alcoholism gets worse--so does physical violence. Your children have withnessed soo much.
You are not to blame for his actions--it is not your fault. It is time for you to find out all yolu can about abuse and how to protect yourself. There is information in the "stickies" at the top of this page. Also, google "domestic violence" and read up.
You need to make a phone call to the neare st domestic violence center to your home and talk to them (in private). Just tell them your situation--they will help you and will not judge you. They will not force you to do anything that you don't want to do. Please make contact!!
There may come the time when you need help to get yourself and the kids to safety or need immediate protection--you need to have plans for who to call and what actions to take. This could mean the difference between surviving, or not, for you and your children.
I k now I am talking very directly to you--with no sugar coating--but, I think it is too late in the game for tippytoeing. Please consider my words seriously.
I am speaking to you with the upmost caring in my heart!!!
dandylion