littlefish

Well, I'm from the "other side" and wander into friends and family sometimes because am I a (now recovered) alcoholic and I was codependent to members of my alcoholic family.

The first thing I can offer from my experience as the alcoholic is: you can't do anything to support or help a drunk get sober. Seriously. Whatever you say or do is not going to have the slightest bit of an effect on him. The only person that is going to get a drunk sober is the drunk himself or herself. It is a solo flight. You could kick him out of the house, coddle him, sue him, change the locks, or be a doormat, and it won't make the slightest bit of difference. Nothing you do is going to get him sober.

Hissycrissy you are maybe just now learning what codependency means. To put it in very simple terms, as codependents there is something about the dysfunctional relationship that attracts us. Normal people are not interested in the drama, but we find ourselves drawn to it like a moth to a flame. Something in us wants well, to be blunt, the abuse. I wanted to be victim, the martyr. That was both my alcoholic profile and my codependent profile.

You don't have to be anybody's martyr, but the sickness of codependency makes you think you should be, that martyrdom is a plausible way to help people. Well it's not: no healthy relationship includes the dynamics of being a masochist, a martyr or a victim. This guy sounds like a sadist, and is so negative and aggressive towards you, you should be hearing all kinds of warning bells and sirens going off in your head. It's not going to get better with a baby.

I would suggest an exit plan....sorry I can't really think of a happy ending.