Finally, about counseling...many marriage counselors are NOT trained in counseling an addict. Addicts are generally not rational, and traditional marriage counseling techniques are wasted on addicts. Check to see if your counselor is a certified addiction counselor. There are many marriage counselors who are certified, and such a counselor will have a lot more knowledge about how to deal with your husband and the way alcohol affects the relationship.
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I can't emphasize this enough...it goes both for therapists and doctors. I live outside of NYC, I grew up with the disease and I have had to be diligent about being my own advocate. Many well intentioned doctors and therapists aren't well versed on addiction and alcoholism, it is a specialty.