Thank you for your very thoughtful and insightful reply. I appreciate your having taken the time to share your thoughts with me.
My friend does have intimacy issues which probably stem from a very strained and restrained relationship with his mother. He has also told me that he doesn't believe that he has ever had a truly healthy relationship with any woman - his relationship with me is the most stable he has ever had.
I understand that alcoholics have many issues with self worth and worthiness and a repetitive theme for this man in things he says and does is that he doesn't deserve me and doesn't want to damage me.
In the end, no matter how much or how long I have loved this man, the thing that matters most to me is preserving our friendship as I truly value that and him as a person.
Ours is a very complicated relationship with a great deal of intensity and passion and we have spent many years navigating the twists and turns we seem to take. My greatest concern at this time is how to best support him in his ongoing journey of sobriety while taking care of myself and not sacrificing my peace of mind in the process.