Hope--
Remember the first of the 12 steps " We admitted were powerless over the substance that controlled us." I have always added at the end.."Just for today", because we do recovery One Day at a Time.
So, just for tonight, admit you're powerless over your drug of choice.
I know how you feel. Stay online. Call a friend. Do you have a sponsor? Call her/him.
You have 45 wonderful daysof sobriety. Cherish that and get to day 46. You can do it.
