She battles addiction, depression and "other things" while she has another woman in her life? You have family members that have battled addiction before? Did they live with you?
I hate to go around suggesting that everyone is a bit co-dependent, but this is the forum to do it, I guess. Read about co-dependency and see if you identify with anything. Perhaps I am wrong.
You are obviously a very caring person and I'm impressed that you've not answered her texts. Yes, you are doing EXACTLY the right thing. You are sending a message. you stated how things needed to be for you to be content and you have to stick to it. Otherwise, you are just sacrificing yourself in all the wrong kind of ways. And it won't work.
You have developed feelings for a person who presents 3 issues:
1. Relationship ( trust, monogamy, honesty, loyalty)
2. Addiction (trust, monogamy, honesty, loyalty)...Coupled with mood swings, cravings, roller coaster rides, insanity, and neglect of your own emotional well-being.
3. All of that magnified by mental illness. Damn. Just let this person be and work out their drama for a while. Maybe it will help. Maybe it won't. It's time to think about you and the fact that you have really little to do what her current state of mind is. I imagine it was like talking to a different person everyday when you did communicate. You need a break, lady!!!
Of course she is telling you that she is sad that you don't communicate. I'm sure she misses having the attention of you and another woman or women, who knows. But she is getting all of this attention for the wrong reasons which doesn't really encourage her to get better at all. This is a bad deal. You were right to call a time out. Consider calling it quits for good. Either way, you can hope the best for her and love her from a far while you watch for any progress.
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