Thank you all for the encouraging words and support.
Ichabod- He stated that he wants to pay child support and wants occassional pictures and medical updates for our special needs son, but that he does not want any parenting time or to see them (or meet our 4 week old son whom he has never met.)
I have known for a long time how ill he really is and that he would choose alcohol over anything, but I was still hanging onto the dream that he would realize how important our sons are and see the light on getting sober. At the beginning of our divorce I was speaking with our county prosecutor because I was at a training with him for work and he told me that in all of his years doing what he does, my husband is the most hardcore alcoholic he has ever seen. The most frustrating part of all of this is that I would do anything to feel angry towards him. I think it would help me to let go. Instead I still love him and long for him and I feel a sadness for him that is overwhelming. The light of a new day has helped mend the blow that I felt yesterday when the news was delivered. I am glad that I stood strong when he started calling and trying to suck me back in, even if not getting his way was what caused this choice. It hurts now, but I know that in the long run I will be a stronger person for having stood up to him and saying enough to the unhealthy cycle. I know that I have a lot of work to do on myself so that whenever he shows back up, if he ever does, I can still stand strong and not let him back in. I know from his history and his pattern that the woman he has run off with will not last. She is also an addict and is married and he has a long past with her. For 15 years they have dated for a few months, then had no contact for years after fight...this time will be no different. When it goes south he will take off and run around the country for a few years and then come back when he has burned all bridges elsewhere and has too many warrants to keep running from in other states. Our boys deserve better than this. I deserve better than this.