Thanks to all of you for your responses. He sat on the porch to chill for a bit and then ended up telling me a long round about story about an incident that occurred when he was a teenager but the moral of that story is basically that he cannot grasp how "otherwise brilliant people can do such stupid things". Then he went and bought me some chocolate milk. So, you are all right with the frustration, fear theories. And I know I need to put my money where my mouth is - or rather keep my money in my wallet instead of squandering it on alcohol.
I need to realize that he'll believe it when he sees it.
Gosh I was just feeling so cornered and attacked at the time I posted. Thanks all for being here, so helpful. And I am going to spend some time reading in the FF forum, too.