DayTrader

I don't know what the AVRT program has to say about making amends but the AA program has plenty. LOL. Perhaps someone more familiar with AVRT than I am can advise you.

Most people in my life never did "get" what I was trying to explain to them - including my mom who I KNOW would gladly lay her life down for mine. They simply never had the same experience as me so they couldn't (and didn't feel like) really walk a mile in my shoes.

In my case, I wanted the ppl around me to understand where I was coming for one main reason - to make my recovery more comfortable for me. Given the hypothetical option of 1. they totally understand but don't change their behavior toward me or 2. they don't understand but start to treat me more like I want them to....... If I was honest......I would have admitted I wanted door #2.

Admitting that ^^^^^, then looking back at my actions in the past toward and around that person, and most of what I discovered was the same sort of selfish, all-about-me thinking and acting. And here I was, once again, wanting things my way for my benefit.

I thought about good things for others......but rarely put any actions behind those thoughts. I wanted my thinking to suffice. But when it came to me, they darn well better put it into action. And that's why I brought up the amends step in AA. Working it forced me to take actions with the sole purpose being what can I DO to repair the damage I've done to YOU. Nothing in it for me, no discussion of how I felt cheated or slighted or short-changed.......just me talking about how I've hurt them and then what I can do to repair the damage and right the wrong. The actions I followed up with......that told them precisely in "normalese" what I was up to. All my talking before that was just, well, talk.