Oh sweetie, This is not your fault. He actively made a choice that is impossible to make sense of. Remember, his brain is not working in a way that makes sesense If he is actively drinking. My heart aches for you and your little ones. I am so sorry.you have to endure this. But they do have a wonderful mom to love them. That love will get them through. Stay strong for them.
Sending hugs and support.
MamaKit