Hi Wendy,
I am so sorry for what you are dealing with, especially with three little ones, wow. You really have your hands full.
I'm afraid you are witnessing the inevitable progression of alcohol abuse - a horrendous thing by any measure, and something many here can relate to, unfortunately.
I also felt disgust with my A's behavior, and the consequences of his drinking binges (including wetting himself) - which was useful, actually, in helping me detach from it and start to accept what we call the three C's - I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it.
I would suggest you read everything you can find on alcohol abuse and addiction for starters; there is a wealth of information on this site in the "stickies" at the top of the page; and perhaps look into Alanon for yourself - I found it very helpful in understanding how to take the focus off my A's behavior and put it where it would help - back on me.
I hope you keep coming back!
Spider