Aeryn, Really interesting post. I was not raised by alcoholics but by self centered parents. It would NEVER cross my mind to share ANY vulnerability with them. I learned that as natural as I learned to walk and talk. I too have control issues that you describe well. I like having a guy who is passive and non controlling because I have zero ability to deal with any focus on me. All the focus was on my EX-AB...and he liked it that way. I guess I am pretty comfortable with that too. Wow...I have never really thought of that before. Yikes!